A Glimpse

Of our Christmas day…

Santa came!

and brought lots of fun toys

but the best gift of the day came from Uncle S!

and this little cutie slept through it all!

but she looked cute doing it 🙂

 

 

  

The good and the tough

My life is good. My heart is full. Some moments are tough.

Just because these children are the answer to many prayers, does not mean my days are nothing but sunshine and roses.  This parenting thing is hard!

So, in the interest of a little mommy-reality, here’s a quick break down:

The Tough

• “Removing” a kicking, screaming, tantruming 3 year old from the playground with the eyes of the other parents burning into the back of your head.
• Being the mom in the check out line at the store with a wailing child in her cart.
• The whining. oh, the whining.  I hope my ears dont start to bleed from it all.
• The constant battle of wills over going to school, getting dressed, brushing teeth, cleaning up, getting out of the bath, going to bed, ect ect ect.
• The alligator tears.
• The real tears.
• The horrible, multiple times a night, night terrors.
• The jealousy and mean words A endures every day.
• Missing my wife.
• The exhaustion and complete lack of any downtime.
• The guilt, the doubt, the worry.

The Good

• Being mommy.
• Lots and lots of hugs and kisses, smiles, and “I love you”s.
• 3 year old belly laughs.
• Knowing that a child feels at home in your arms.
• Family dance parties around the dining room table.
• Snuggles and book reading in the evenings.
• A sleeping baby on my chest.
• Having a child trust you enough to show you their sad sides.
• Glowing reports from daycare.
• Imagination, learning, and being able to provide a child with the chance to grow and explore.
• Having a whole new and wonderful relationship with my wife.  Having her support to get through the tough.
• Having children teach me about the person I want to be.

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Why?

A little bit ago I was talking with good friend who happens to not be particularly religious, about my religious beliefs.  I explained that despite all our frustration and heartbreak, I just knew that there was a reason for it and that God had a plan for us.  She was having a hard time understanding why in the world any higher power would want to cause pain to people who were trying to help others.  Even though I answered her with confidence at the time, “There is a reason, and some day it will become clear to me what that reason is”, it was a question that haunted me for some time.  In fact, this post has been written, re-written, and saved in my drafts for months. 

It took a lot of faith to get through this year, but through falling tears I can assure you that I was right.  I needed to experience that wait to fully appreciate the joy that now fills my life.  It was worth it.  It was all worth it.

The post I shouldn’t write

Well, we are about 4 days into our first placement and its going so much better than expected (see why I shouldnt write this? I totally just jinxed myself).  We prepared ourselves for the worst but have been pleasantly surprised with age-appropriate, generally pleasant behavior!  Sprout got a bit overstimulated yesterday afternoon when we went to Wal.mart and the grocery store back to back and we had some tears when mean mommy said no to chocolate.  But, redirection works wonders with this kid.  Also, we’re working a lot on matching his feeling with words so he has the tools to express himself when he’s feeling overwhelmed.  Overall, Sprout is a very happy, go with the flow child and the moments of boundary testing are entirely expected for his age and situation.  

Because he was removed from a prior foster home for his behavior, his so.cial wor.ker immediately put supports in place so we’ll be having a behavior therapist coming to the house to work on dis.cipline techn.iques.  I’m excited for this in a geeky kind of way, lol.  Beh.avior modificat.ion was my favorite class in grad school so I can’t wait to hear the therapist’s ideas.  I also think it’ll be great for A since she hasn’t been exposed to behavi.or mod per se – though I already see her implementing a lot of similar techniques.  Sprout will also be attending pla.y ther.apy to support our efforts at verbalizing feelings.   It’ll be great for him, especially since he really thrives on one-on-one attention.  I just hope she has a table, because as he told us over dinner last night, he “mostly likes to talk about feelings at the dinner table only, thank you please”.  hehehe. This kid makes us smile non-stop!

Rosebud continues to be as cute as can be.  She’s a super snuggler who only gets mad when we dare put her in her crib.  I don’t mind, though, I’m getting my fill of baby snuggles knowing she won’t be this little forever.  Not to mention, the consistent close contact will promote attachment (or, at least that’s the excuse I’ll be using, lol!) – I even got my first smile yesterday.  A huge gummy grin that made my heart a puddle on the floor.   That was all I needed to know we are doing just fine by her.

And then there were two…

A brief update because much craziness has ensued.  Remember Sprout? Who will be coming to us today? Well, he won’t be alone…his baby sister Rosebud will be coming along too!

Tonight I will be tucking two beautiful children into bed. My cup runneth over.

Check my Bling

Meegs at A New Day has given me the Happy 101 award.  Its pretty, right? 

Thanks Meegs!

Rules for the
Happy 101 Award
List 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day. For those 10 bloggers who get the award, you then link back to my blog and create your makes you happy list.

My 10 Things:

1. A scoop of orange sherbet with lots, i’m talkin LOTS, of sprinkles on top.  Sprinkles are shots for those of you not in the know.  I’ll only take the rainbow ones. I know, shocking 😉
2. Laying in bed in the morning listening to my kitty purrr.
3. Spending a full day in the kitchen cooking to my heart’s content, then having loved ones enjoy what I’ve made.
4. A perfectly clean house and folded laundry.
5. Movies on a rainy day.
6. A good glass of wine, comfy couch, and an old friend.
7. Changing into my pjs after a long day at work.
8. Winning over the heart of a child.
9. Getting a card in the mail.
10. Cape Cod.

If you’ve read this – consider yourself tagged!

Wait a minute, I have a blog??

Wow, its been a while since I’ve posted.  Sorry about that.

Things have been all a flutter in the 2mommies2be household.  First, there was Hanukkah (warmest wishes to all those currently celebrating) and much fun was had with the in-laws.  Then there was some sad news involving the death of a family member and my parents needing to put their dog down – not to fret, though, both of those special souls are more comfortable where they are now, than where they were. And finally, there is work.  Year end, project wrap up, holiday party, crazy, exhausting, work.  

But let’s get to what you really came here for:  updates!

Regarding the maybe baby, I’ve got nothin.  Not one word, from anyone.  Fellow foster parent readers are shaking their heads because they know, as I know, this is a bad sign.

But on a brighter note, we got our first match on Tuesday!! A 3 year old boy who we’ll refer to as Sprout 🙂  Details are still being ironed out regarding when and for how long he’ll be with us, but we are really hoping to have Sprout in our home by Christmas.  But my goodness! There is so much to do to get ready! We’ve spent the past couple nights rearranging the nursery (my sweet wife shed a tear when we took apart the crib), moving in a toddler bed, and shopping.  We are extremely lucky because I’m in contact with Sprout’s current caregiver which means I already know his clothing size, favorite foods, toys, abilities, ect.  It’s really a best-case scenario for our first placement.

We’re thrilled. And scared. And overwhelmed. And nervous. And guarded. but mostly, we’re thrilled!

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