Sprout was acting bizarre last night at dinner. I’d even call it manic. It’s very difficult for me to handle him when he gets that way because he isn’t actually on this planet anymore. Love and Logic? Yeah right. The child is speaking gibberish sprinkled with a maniacal laugh. It had me wondering why I didn’t make that little room in the basement padded. So I asked him to go to his room so I could have some time to think about his behavior. He went – half rolling, half walking on all fours. Good things are not to come when he turns animalistic.
Hmmm. Do I just leave him in there? At least he’s contained. He’ll fall asleep eventually, right?
A long hug and deep breathing? History tells me that would be risking injury to my person.
Nah, this time I’m just going to meet crazy with crazy.
So I went over to our dress up box, got my full princess attire on, and marched into the room.
“Hey Sprout, let’s play!’
He’s got himself wedged between his bed and the wall but I got his attention enough for a peek and a little eyebrow raise.
“I could tell you were happy so we should play!”
“I NOT HAPPY!!”
“You were laughing at dinner. Doesn’t that mean happy?”
“I’M.NOT.HAPPY. I’M MEAN!!”
“What honey? I can’t hear you.” (of course I could hear him. My parents in the next town could hear him. but I needed to get him out from his awkward spot) “I think the bed is muffling your voice.”
“I SAID I’M MEAN!”
Now he’s within arms reach and I can see my Sprout returning to his eyes. So I sit down slowly, take his hands and whisper “You are not mean. You are sweet and kind and strong. You feel mean.”
His tears start to fall and he slumps into my lap.
“What makes you feel mean?”
“Mommy T [bio] feels mean. It’s almost Wednesday [visit day].”
And there is was. Months of meltdowns, long talks, therapy and work – and this is the first time he accurately labeled his feelings rather than blaming the cat/dog/alien/blue sky/who knows what. I was happy, but I couldn’t really be happy. My beautiful child lives a perpetual “almost Wednesday”.
We sat there for a long time hugging and rocking and talking – a spot so familiar to us both. I told him I was proud of him and he told me I looked like a princess. I would have liked to take that as a compliment, but he was really just stating the obvious.