Archive for March, 2009

March 31, 2009

Babies need a lot of stuff

I’m still trying to decide if baby shopping is fun….I think at this point its just overwhelming.   Especially considering that my “baby” could be age 6 weeks – 5 years, boy or girl, with any number of delays/disabilities or none at all.  Oh yeah, and this shopping should be completed in the next 4 weeks so we can schedule our home study.

Well, now that I’ve gotten that little vent out of the way, I can share what is fun: cribs.  Cribs are fun and cute and the root of all my baby day dreams.  Here’s the one I’m pretty sure I’ve we’ve decided on:

Its the Ash.leigh. Convertible, drop-side, white, and inexpensive: aka everything i was looking for.   And I’m really enjoying the slight sleigh style.

Once we got that decided we moved on to car seats and strollers.  We spent Sunday evening test driving, reviewing, and debating different options in 3 different stores and ended the night  without a single purchase.  There’s just too much out there!  But after some research I’ve decided we’re going to try out the following “system”:

– Snug.ride infant excellent safety ratings and reviews at a great price.  The only reason I havent purchased yet is b/c the prices vary based on the pattern.  The cheapest pattern is cute but i’m in love with a more expensive one. So, i’m trying to convince myself that the money saved will be well worth it in the end.

– to go w/ the infant car seat we’ll get the sna.p ‘n g.o….the moms on my local rave about it, and i found a new one on craigs.list for $25. sweet deal.

– For an older kid I’m really liking the Nau.tilus 3 in 1….its a convertible car seat good for 20-100lbs.  Cant beat that! And its inexpensive with good ratings. Unfortunately its not very cute, imo, but i havent found anything better so its still on the list.

– And, for the older kid stroller, I found a Savv.y Soho 2.200 on craigs.list for cheap.   I dont know if I’ll love it, but i’m sure it’ll be better than the travel system stroller that comes with the infant car seat. I’m really holding out for a Jeep – we do so much hiking and walking, it’ll be great for the summer.

So, thats were we stand with the travel – i think its a good start, no?  We’re also getting some of the basics as hand me downs from generous friends such as: a pack n play, swing, high chair, bouncy seat, whole bunch of girls clothes, baby toys, ect. 

Oh man, i thought typing it all out would make me feel better, but i think it just made me realize how little I have!  I”m gonna go buy those glass bottles off of ama.zon to make myself stop hyperventilating now….

March 30, 2009

First Class Complete

Bright and early Saturday morning Andrea and I made the trek down to our first foster training class – excited, nervous, and sleepy.  Its a good group of 15 potential parents (mix of foster and adoptive) and 2 trainers.  We’re especially excited because one person in our class is someone I work with and knowing someone going in is always helpful in calming the nerves…not to mention she’ll be a great resource once the classes are over and I’m looking forward to getting to know her better. 

Most of what we covered in class was no surprise to us, although i’m not sure that was the case for all.  Essentially, they were making sure expectations were clear and worse-case scenarios were communicated.  At lunch they even asked if any of us wanted to leave; no one did though 😉  Basically, this is the summary of what i learned:

  1. Reunification.
  2. Reunification.
  3. Reunification.

We have the distinct pleasure of living in the most liberal state in terms of statute and judges when it comes to reuniting children with their biological parents. This means 3 important things. 1) It is very difficult to get the state to relinquish parental rights.  at minimum, it takes 12 months. in reality, more like 2+ years.  2) the state will bend over backwards to get the child back to the bio parent.  This means giving lots of chances and granting lots of continuances.  and 3) foster parents have no rights.  literally.  there is no law currently on the books that protects the rights of foster parents.   good times, no?

Being familiar with the foster system, Andrea and I were not shocked by the above although I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it was disheartening to have it pounded into me (via lecture, reading, and video!).  But, I could tell some of the adoptive parents received a harder blow.  The three couples I’m thinking of were older, had been unsuccessful in having bio children, and were turning to the foster program to have a baby of their own.  Unfortunately the state is just not conducive to what they are looking for. Of course it can happen, but it will take a long time and will require lots of patience.

Another couple in the class had 2 bio children, 3 foster to adopt children, and were back for another! As they introduced themselves and told their story, Andrea mouthed to me “that will NOT be us” lol…she must have seen the glimmer in my eye as they were talking.  Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that we are actually not the only gays in the class!  There’s a cute single gay boy…he didn’t say much aside from complimenting my hair…but I like him already 😉

March 27, 2009

We passed!

Yesterday was our home inspection and interview with a social worker from DCF.  Our stomachs were in knots all morning awaiting the appointment but it was all for naught – the meeting was a breeze!

The home inspection itself was all of 15 minutes and at the end the SW confessed that the minute she walked in the front door she knew the home would be fine.  The bulk of the time was spent discussing the interview questions….lots and lots of them from our beliefs about discipline, to our experiences with drugs/alcohol, to how we feel about taking in a child that is HIV positive (yikes, right?).   We must have answered correctly, though, because the feedback at the end of the meeting was that we seemed to have a lot of experience,  realistic expectations, and a strong marriage. awwwww.  My heart fluttered when she said we would be “just perfect” for a the program.

I’m ready to be a mom – bring it on!

March 13, 2009

Hurry up and wait

Where we currently stand:

1) Waiting, waiting, waiting (impatiently) for the social worker from DCF to schedule our home inspection and personal interview.  This would be the first step toward becoming foster parents, and, if we pass, would allow us to begin the required training classes.

2) Our initial appointment with the midwives who will be performing the IUI(s?) is in about a month.  We’ve heard great things about them and are really looking forward to getting the ball rolling on that front.  Our first insem will hopefully be in May.