The shortened version of ‘Our growing family’…
When we were in the planning stages, it was always our intent to foster (possibly to adopt, but not necessarily) and to have my wife (A) conceive via IUI with donor sperm from a bank. So three years ago we started out on both paths simultaneously.
and then life happened.
That first year was a nightmare. The process to get licensed to foster was horrendously drawn out due to incompetent social workers, files getting lost, and an archaic and overburdened system. At the same time, we were discovering my wife’s unexplained infertility with many unsuccessful IUIs.
After close to a year we finally got licensed to foster and got our first placements (3 1/2 yo boy and a 6 week old girl). That same week we had our first IUI with an RE (we had previously been working with a midwife’s office). The IUIs continued to be unsuccessful and after a few months with the RE we tried our first IVF. That was unsuccessful.
So I decided I’d try to get pregnant and spent the summer into fall trying (IUIs + meds with the same RE’s office). That didn’t work either.
After the break A decided she was ready to TTC again and she underwent her second IVF. No go.
All this time we were still fostering our two littles and falling more and more in love with them. During the TWW of IVF #2, we were informed that they would be reunified with their mother. Cue heartbreak.
2 weeks later we were reeling from the news of the IVF BFN (and learning that A likely wouldn’t conceive without the use of donor eggs which was not an option we were interested in exploring) and preparing our hearts to say goodbye to our 2 foster babies who we loved more than life.
Then the phone rang.
It was the day after thanksgiving and we learned that our children’s bio mom had another baby – total surprise to everyone (we did know she was pregnant, but didn’t think she was that far along at all).
We welcomed the new baby and decided to be finished with trying to conceive. Months passed, everything changed with the case, reunification plans were scratched and we were named the children’s pre-adoptive placement. Then, bio mom had another baby. We were called and asked if we wanted to that child. We said no at first, then changed our minds, but it was too late and the baby had been matched with another pre-adoptive family with whom we hope to have contact.
Fast forward to now. Adoption complete and we have 3 awesome kids forever and ever.