My straight girlfriends always tell me how lucky I am to have another mom on my team. They tell me about all the things they could get done or how much smoother their homes would run if they had a wife.
Well, I’m here to tell you what it’s really like. Sunshine and roses? Oooooh no, not always.
Take, for example, the times when we are out in public with our children and one of them has a meltdown about something or other. So there I am, doing the whole mom-with-screaming-child-in-public thing and am trying my darndest to football-hold that child and make a quick exit. Then they start, at the top of their lungs, in hysterics, screaming for ‘mama’ (my wife). “Mama!!! Mama!! I want my mama!!!”
That’s when the situation gets even more uncomfortable because now everyone in the place thinks you are STEALING A CHILD.
Then there was the time when mama was home with our 2 little girls. They were going to have a fun morning together and visit me at work for lunch. I called to check in and she’s just unloading them from the car to drop it for an oil change while they play at Chuckie Cheese. Fantastic!
Then I hear, “Wait, why isn’t the baby wearing any shoes?”
And a toddler voice pipes us, “She wasn’t wearing any when you put her in da van. I think you weft them at home….with da diapers.”
“Gotta go honey, I need to run to the store.”
And that’s how the world’s tackiest shoes made their way into my daughter’s closet.
Sound familiar? Hmmm, I thought so.
Last, but certainly not least, was the time when I brought our youngest to get ice cream. She wasn’t quite two and had just learned the word ‘daddy.’ She was obsessed with it and not having a particular person to attach the title to, in her mind, all men were now called ‘daddies’. She points out the daddies at the library, the grocery store, and everywhere else we go. No biggie, she’s still in the toddler-talk stage that no one else can understand.
So about the trip to get ice cream. The nice ice cream man makes up a baby-sized soft serve cone and hands it over. My daughter gladly accepts with eager eyes. I remind her to please say ‘thank you’.
Clear as a bell she looks at him and excitedly says, “Thank you Daddy!”
And that’s when the sunshine and roses gets real. Real awkward.