January 21, 2010
Dearest Sprout and Rosebud,
You’ve been living with your Mommy A and E for a month now. Life as a new family of four has settled into a nice pattern of routine and stability. We’ve enjoyed magic of Christmas with you, explored new places, and have shared much laughter. You’ve met countless new people this month and we are amazed by the way that you’ve opened your arms and hearts to your new extended family.
Sprout, the two characteristics that really strike me about you are your resilience and friendliness. You are such a happy, welcoming child that easily wins the heart of everyone you meet. Your favorite activities these days are trucks and play dough! You also love to play on the playground and we can’t wait until its warmer outside so we can do that more often. When we ask you what you want to be when you grow up, you always answer “A daddy!” – with your caring, compassionate soul there is no doubt in my mind that you would be a wonderful one. You are so smart and the success you are having in school learning your letters and numbers has us beaming with pride. You will go far in life and I can only hope that in some way I’ll be watching from the sidelines.
Rosebud, when I think of you, I smile – and since I think of you often, you always have me smiling! You are the cutest baby I have ever seen and I’m quite concerned that one day your nose will fall off from too many kisses. You have a warm soul just like your brother and you flash us your wide smile every chance you get. When I look into your eyes there is a distinct calmness and maturity – as if I’m getting a glimpse into many generations and a life so much bigger than I’ve ever known. You are full of love and patience and grace.
I love you both so much and I promise to stand by your side, for as long as I’m called to, no matter where this journey takes us.
All my heart,
January 11, 2010
Last Monday morning, after barely managing to schlep myself to work, a coworker cheerily asked me how my weekend was. I stared at her blankly for a moment wondering how the answer wasn’t already written all over my baggy-eyed face before answering with “Well, I survived”. And thats the truth. As much as week 1 was the honeymoon period, week 2 with Sprout and Rosebud was all about surviving.
Now we’ve completed week 3 and I can say that we are really living. My life as mom has begun. Sure, there have still been tantrums, tears, and screaming; oh my! But it all feels right. As if we, our for-now family of four, finally got our puzzle pieces clicked together. Relief. Such sweet relief.
December 30, 2009
My life is good. My heart is full. Some moments are tough.
Just because these children are the answer to many prayers, does not mean my days are nothing but sunshine and roses. This parenting thing is hard!
So, in the interest of a little mommy-reality, here’s a quick break down:
- “Removing” a kicking, screaming, tantruming 3 year old from the playground with the eyes of the other parents burning into the back of your head.
- Being the mom in the check out line at the store with a wailing child in her cart.
- The whining. oh, the whining. I hope my ears dont start to bleed from it all.
- The constant battle of wills over going to school, getting dressed, brushing teeth, cleaning up, getting out of the bath, going to bed, ect ect ect.
- The alligator tears.
- The real tears.
- The horrible, multiple times a night, night terrors.
- The jealousy and mean words A endures every day.
- Missing my wife.
- The exhaustion and complete lack of any downtime.
- The guilt, the doubt, the worry.
- Being mommy.
- Lots and lots of hugs and kisses, smiles, and “I love you”s.
- 3 year old belly laughs.
- Knowing that a child feels at home in your arms.
- Family dance parties around the dining room table.
- Snuggles and book reading in the evenings.
- A sleeping baby on my chest.
- Having a child trust you enough to show you their sad sides.
- Glowing reports from daycare.
- Imagination, learning, and being able to provide a child with the chance to grow and explore.
- Having a whole new and wonderful relationship with my wife. Having her support to get through the tough.
- Having children teach me about the person I want to be.
December 18, 2009
A brief update because much craziness has ensued. Remember Sprout? Who will be coming to us today? Well, he won’t be alone…his baby sister Rosebud will be coming along too!
Tonight I will be tucking two beautiful children into bed. My cup runneth over.
December 17, 2009
Wow, its been a while since I’ve posted. Sorry about that.
Things have been all a flutter in the 2mommies2be household. First, there was Hanukkah (warmest wishes to all those currently celebrating) and much fun was had with the in-laws. Then there was some sad news involving the death of a family member and my parents needing to put their dog down – not to fret, though, both of those special souls are more comfortable where they are now, than where they were. And finally, there is work. Year end, project wrap up, holiday party, crazy, exhausting, work.
But let’s get to what you really came here for: updates!
Regarding the maybe baby, I’ve got nothin. Not one word, from anyone. Fellow foster parent readers are shaking their heads because they know, as I know, this is a bad sign.
But on a brighter note, we got our first match on Tuesday!! A 3 year old boy who we’ll refer to as Sprout 🙂 Details are still being ironed out regarding when and for how long he’ll be with us, but we are really hoping to have Sprout in our home by Christmas. But my goodness! There is so much to do to get ready! We’ve spent the past couple nights rearranging the nursery (my sweet wife shed a tear when we took apart the crib), moving in a toddler bed, and shopping. We are extremely lucky because I’m in contact with Sprout’s current caregiver which means I already know his clothing size, favorite foods, toys, abilities, ect. It’s really a best-case scenario for our first placement.
We’re thrilled. And scared. And overwhelmed. And nervous. And guarded. but mostly, we’re thrilled!
December 1, 2009
Today marks 4 weeks that we’ve been licensed and waiting for a match. As with everything I’ve experienced this past year, I never would have believed it would take this long for placement. 4 weeks with only one call is simply mind-blowing. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that it is December and our nursery is still empty. Most of the time I’m not angry. Or even sad. Just shocked.
That being said, there is a development on the horizon that has softened the blow of the wait. I’ve made mention to it in my password protected posts, but in the interest of keeping everyone updated, I’m excited to share that a baby might (emphasis on MIGHT) be joining our family soon. Here’s the brief and vague, names-changed-to-protect-the-innocent summary:
An acquaintance of an acquaintance of an acquaintance knows a teen who is pregnant and is receiving services from the state. “Receiving services” is the PC way of saying that the state is involved in ensuring the welfare of the unborn child and will be involved in the care of the baby once its born. It’s unclear to me at this point why exactly the state is involved (generally they don’t get involved until after the child is born) – but, it may have to do with the mother testing positive for drug use, or planning to take advantage of the state’s Sa.fe Have.n Laws.
In any event, it appears to be imminent that the State will be taking custody of the baby once its born. In situations such as this, the social worker will often ask the bio mom if she knows of any family or friends who might be interested in taking custody of the child. Well, we’ve been told that this bio mom has given our name as a potential placement. And not only as a foster placement, but as a pre-adoptive placement…or so we’re told.
Wow. If we weren’t so intimately familiar with the state and its unpredictability we would be jumping up and down, crying, and shouting our newly-expecting status from the rooftops. I mean, this is an update of the most incredible kind. But, we are intimately familiar with how “these things” can change at a moments notice. So, we are proceeding with ever-so-guarded hearts and the knowledge that many little things must fall into place before we can rejoice this maybe, possible, might-be miracle.
So for now this is just a pipe dream (is dream even the word? so many things about this story are nothing short of a tragedy). But even if nothing ever comes of this, the possibility is helping the days go by.
November 3, 2009
With butterflies in my stomach, flushed cheeks, and sweaty palms, I am excited to announce that we are officially licensed foster parents!!!
At 8:30 this morning I saw D.CF’s number pop up on my caller ID. I frantically squeaked out a “Hello?” and was greeted with “Congratulations Mrs. S, I’m calling to let you know that you are a licensed foster parent! You can expect calls for placement to start rolling in any day now!”
If I wasn’t at work with nosey coworkers within earshot I would have squealed like a school girl and kissed the phone. Somehow I managed to finish the phone call with composure before running to the closest conference room where I could call Andrea while jumping up and down. And during that call I did kiss the phone : )
When I returned to my desk, I found an email from our SW congratulating us. It was such a sweet email, it really warmed my heart. That is, until I got to the last line:
“And I wouldn’t be surprised if you were called today (hahaha). “
That made my heart stop. Holy crap. Today?! I have got to learn how to install those car seats ASAP!
November 2, 2009
On Friday we found a letter in our mail box from CA.FAP. Remember them? They work with the state as a support agency for fo.ster and ado.ptive parents. The letter stated that as newly licensed foster parents, we had been paired with a mentor to help us through the first six months of fostering. Her name and number is XXX and her bio is blah blah blah.
Wha?? Back up the train for a minute… “newly licensed foster parents”? Since when?!
Apparently they know something we don’t, but at this point we’ll take any progress no matter how cryptic. And now i’m considering going home on my lunch break to check the mail… 🙂
September 30, 2009
Just as I was feeling down about it being the last day of the month in which we were promised to be licensed and yet not having a license, or child, in my home, I received this email…
I submitted your case for licensure and I’m waiting for the social wo.rk supervisor and program super.visor to give it their final approval. We expect you both to be fully lic.ensed within the next 2 weeks!!!! Every thing looks very good at this point. Unfortunately, our department has been incredibly overwhelmed and we’ve all been very, very busy. So, give us a couple more weeks and you’ll SOON BE GETTING CALLS FROM US!!!
Our hope for an October placement might actually happen! Also? How awesome are those exclamation points, bolded and capital letters? Now you all can understand why I love our new SW – its clear that she actually cares!
It’s a new year, indeed.
September 17, 2009
happy ones, that is.
The (allegedly) final piece of documentation needed for our file was the missing third page from a recommendation I received from my boss. Granted I’ve already faxed this paper 3 times, but somehow it was still missing when our new, and fabulous, SW reviewed the file. Much angst ensued earlier in the week when I couldn’t find my copy of this paper – apparently I had misplaced it somewhere between home, work, and the fax machine, after sending it all those times. I begrudgingly had to ask my boss if she happened to have a copy of it on hand, which she didn’t, and then I felt even worse about having to ask her to fill it out again. But being the kind and easy going person she is, she completed the form for the second time, scanned and emailed it to the SW, and even spoke with her to confirm receipt.
I just finished reading over the recommendation and I’m absolutely blown away by the kind things she said. There’s no way I’m losing this one. My goodness…I have so many great people in my life.