Archive for April, 2009

April 29, 2009

Questions, Questions!

So, over the past couple weeks I’ve gotten some questions in from my lovely readers! Quite exciting, I must say. 

1) How did you decide who would carry?

I figured I’d start with the easiest to answer. And here it is: I don’t have any desire to be pregnant – ever. Lucky for me, it turned out that 1) I married a woman and 2) she does.  I’ve always known I was going to be a mom and pregnancy is beautiful and fascinating to me…but that’s from a distance.  The idea of me getting pregnant and giving birth ranks right up there with skydiving. Not something I want to do ever; but, I can understand why some people put it on their “must do before I die” list. 

I do reserve the right to revise my answer if for some reason A is unable to concieve or carry.  Then, I might consider it, but it wouldn’t be a decision lightly made.

2) Are you going to stop fostering when you have a bio child?

Nope. At least, that’s not our intention at this point.  Even if we get PG within our first couple tries, we’ll have 40 weeks (hopefully) before we welcome a new child into our home.  That is more than enough time to be able to open our home, help, and love a child – or children – in need, or to begin the attachment process with a child who will stay long term. We have no idea how long it’ll take for us to get pregnant and its important for us not to put our life on hold while we’re trying.  Not to mention, we want to foster for a long, long time and having a bio child will not end that goal.  Might we take a hiatus for a couple months to bond with our new baby? Maybe.  It all depends on the specific circumstances at the time.  I certainly don’t foresee us transferring a foster child out of our home, though.  We will just think carefully about the placements we accept over the coming months to try and make sure we get a good match for future plans. 

3. Will you baptize your child?

Okay, this question seemed to come a bit out of left field. But, I’ll play along. 

The short answer is, probably not.  We are a Judeo-Christian household and out of respect for my wife and her religion, I’d never push the issue of baptism…which is essentially assigning our child as Christian. Similarly, if we have a little boy, we won’t be having a Bris. 

To be honest, though, I’m thinking my answer would be the same even if A were Christian.  I believe that religion is most powerful when chosen…not assigned or assumed. So, its our hope to raise our child learning about all the religions, about morals, about different perspectives, and when the time comes they will have the opportunity to choose what works best for them (if anything).

 Any more questions lingering out there? Please feel free to send them my way! I don’t bite. And it excites me to know that people actually read this 🙂

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April 28, 2009

Vent

On Sunday the SW left with us a packet of forms that needed to be completed and mailed back….this packet included vet forms for each pet, physical forms to be filled out by our doc, recommendation forms from our references, and a long list of copies they needed to confirm info (ss cards, marriage license, pay stubs, ect ect ect).  Its tedious, but no biggie, we’ve got until the end of May, right?

Wrong.  I just got a call from our SW, who had gotten a call from the state, wondering where our info was.  Huh?!

So, by the end of the week (although they would prefer by the end of the day), I need to have the vet fill out 3 animal forms including check ups for 2 of them that are due, have a physical w/ my doc and get him to fill out our forms, have our 3 references (2 of whom are our bosses!) fill out a questionnaire, make a bajillion copies, AND go to social security to get a proof of ss card for Andrea because we couldn’t find it this weekend. 

I dub this week: Operation Impossible. 

Maybe some begging and tears will help me get all the appointments necessary?

April 27, 2009

Timeline of a home.study

6:30am – Get out of bed. of course I’ve been tossing and turning for hours in anticipation, but now the dog has to go out.

8:30am – House has been completely swept and mopped. again. everything dusted, wiped down, put away. Nursery checked. and checked again. then just once more.  showered.  dressed. changed outfit.  twice. lawn watered. pets fed. coffee started, fruit sliced, and muffins are about to come out of the oven. 

9:00am – Social worker arrives.  Jeans and a Harley tshirt. he’s shorter than I pictured.  unusually soft hands.

10:00 am – halfway through signing and dating huge stack of papers.  geez, this is worse than closing on our house.

10:30am – struggling to remember the names and birth order of all my aunts and uncles for the genogram.  My family tree takes 45 minutes to complete. Andrea’s takes 10.

11:30am – chit chat about childhood, major life events, how much I love my wife, what its like to be gay.  surprised by how few of the questions have to do w/ parenting. complete personality test, discuss results, apparently i’m a green – the wife’s a blue.

12:30pm – give the house tour. he seems to be more interested in the attic and basement than the nursery. oy, men.

1:00 – he welcomes us to “the underworld of the foster community” and says good bye.  nice guy, no doubt he’s great with kids, but he’s a little odd.

In summary? The home.study went well! I don’t foresee any issue “passing” and we’ll get a copy of his full report in a couple weeks.  He did tell us that all the paperwork is supposed to be completed by May 23rd and we’ll likely be getting calls for placement around the first week in June.  I’m really glad he told us since its a little later than we thought and now we wont be sitting around worrying for 3 weeks of no calls.

As of now all the big hurdles have been cleared! Aside from some final paperwork and our last 2 classes, things are really finishing up. The end is in sight, and it feels great 🙂

April 27, 2009

As promised

Here’s where the nursery/kid’s room  stands now:

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The empty frame is awaiting a print from etsy – its a precious pic of a bunny and friends sitting on a log 🙂

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My attempt at the tree art:

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April 23, 2009

Want to see who won the crib debate?

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Oh, come on – like there was ever any doubt?

ps, aren’t these onesies the sweetest? Andrea is worried our home inspector is going to think we’re crazy, but i’m goin with it 😉

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And be sure to stay tuned, I should have semi-finished nursery pics up this weekend!

April 22, 2009

Green Laundry

I’m a product-reveiw junky and figured I’d splatter in my own here and there in case anyone was interested. 

This one is for Ecos.Laundry.Detergent.  We try our best to be earth-friendly and long ago switched to all natural cleaning products – one of my faves discovered in the switch was Ecos.  Its a concentrated liquid so one bottle will last you forever and the scents are very mild (on clean laundry….out of the bottle it can actually be shockingly strong).  They also have one detergent that is completely free of all dyes and perfumes which I plan to use for baby laundry.

And you know what else is fun? I can actually pronounce all the ingredients on the label; things like soap bark, chamomile, and purified water…..makes me wonder why in the world we strayed from the basics to begin with.

April 21, 2009

Thrilled!!

My sweet wife just called to inform me that our good friends from high school are pregnant!! This news is not uncommon in our group, however, it is especially thrilling this time because these dear friends have struggled with IF for a couple years and making the switch to IVF was a tough decision for them.  I’m soooo glad it paid off! And now I’m dying to get the head count 🙂 Andrea’s hoping that their maternity leaves will overlap so she’ll have some company. I guess we’ll see!

Exciting piece of news #2 is that our home.study is scheduled for this sunday. As in this weekend. Just a handful of days away.  In my mind, we have soooooooo much to get and do to be ready, but the interviewer assured us that as long as we have the basics covered we’ll be fine.  Have I mentioned our house is not yet baby-proofed?! I’m gonna have to work on that….right after I install 3 more fire detectors and a carbon monoxide detector in the nursery…..thank goodness my evenings are free this week, its going to be a busy one!

ps – what the heck is up with the formatting of my “running timeline”?  I tried everything to get the home.study on the second line but its not working. Any ideas for me? Please? My type-A personality will obsess over this all day.

April 20, 2009

1/2 Way Done

We finished our third class this weekend which means we’re exactly 1/2 way there! This week’s class covered two topics: race and discipline.

I think its great that they discuss race as placements are often trans-racial (i definitely did not come up with that word).  But, the key point of the unit was:  Race Matters.  Counter-intuitive for the PC generation I was raised in, but its true.  Children must be taught about their heritage and background; they must be taught to respect their skin color; they must see other faces that look like their own, and be offered role models of all shades.  As much as “we’re all the same deep down”, in our society, identity is heavily tied to race and its okay to recognize, appreciate, and accept those differences.   And this is where I become very grateful for our diverse group of friends – Lord knows I’m in no position to teach a daughter how to be a strong black woman or a son what it means to be a Latino male, but when the time comes, he or she will have an extended family who is more than willing to pick up my slack and for that, I’m incredibly thankful.

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April 19, 2009

I’m calling it a success

Before:

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(for some reason these pics are very kind….IRL this dresser was dirty, dinged, scratched, and stained like you wouldn’t believe)

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After:

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Think she approves?

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I’m no professional and it certainly isn’t perfect, but I’m feeling pretty happy about how it came out!  I recycled an old piece of furniture and saved a ton of money.  Total cost for this dresser makeover = $27.36.

April 16, 2009

Step 1.5 ?!

Wow, that old guy is not going down without a fight.  Two coats of primer and two coats of paint and its still not looking quite like I had envisioned.  So far this week, my sweet, calm room has gone from looking like this

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to this

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All in the name of progress….right?

One more coat of paint, attach new hardware, and just maybe I’ll have an “after” picture for you by the weekend.