In honor of the impending 3-0 next month, a little of what I’ve learned so far…
2. On a related note, marry your best friend. Even if it’s a girl. Hey, it worked for me!
3. Being a woman in the 21st century means you get to be powerful and beautiful. That’s the good news.
4. The bad news is that you are expected to be powerful and beautiful.
5. Envy is a useless emotion. Energy is better spent on admire.
6. Anything can be delicious if cooked the right way. I’m still learning the latter.
7. No works best when not overused. Same with yes.
8. It’s okay to be proud of yourself. It’s not braggy or AW-ish or conceited. Real friends want to know about your accomplishments.
9. While we are on the topic of real friends, you can meet legitimate friends online. You can also meet a bunch of creeps.
10. Do not schedule sexy time. There is nothing that will kill the mood worse than a to-do list.
11. People, children especially, can hear you a lot better when you whisper than when you yell.
12. Running is all mental. I can be a runner if I want to be.
13. Procrastination does nothing more than bite me in the ass. Maybe in the next decade I’ll learn to actually stop doing it.
14. We still have a long way to go before we can call ourselves a civilized country.
15. You know those times pre-kid when you saw a mom check her baby for a poopy diaper by sticking her finger in it or holding the baby’s bum up to her nose and you thought, “Nasty. I will never do that”? Liar. You absolutely will.
16. Food feeds many things – the hard part is making sure you only feed the good stuff.
17. When blogging, never follow a sentence about poop with a sentence about food. It tends to turn people off.
19. Everyone else is just as self-conscious as I am. Seriously, people aren’t staring at me, they are looking around to make sure no one is staring at them.
20. Sometimes God’s plan doesn’t match my plan. His plan is better.
21. If you want to lose weight and get fit, you have to actually DO something. Watching Biggest Loser with a bowl of frozen yogurt (you know, vs the ice cream), isn’t going to cut it.
22. Teach your children about forgiveness and forgive them easily. Because one day you will be asking them to forgive you.
23. Time does not heal all wounds. But, it helps.
24. Do not try to pet the neighborhood kitty after dark. It might be a skunk. And then your weekend will be ruined.
25. Some babies never sleep. But whatever you do, don’t tell anyone, unless of course you like getting advice from EVERY person you EVER encounter.
26. Denying girls the opportunity to wear pink and dress like princesses is just as bad as denying them blue and baseball.
27. You can love someone and hate them at the same time. Actually, no you can’t. Love will be stronger every time.
28. Everyone is equal. We are all the same deep down. We all deserve the same rights because what’s fair is fair. Inequality just doesn’t make sense. Every 5-year-old you ask would agree.
29. It’s no coincidence that many of these have to do with children…all the best things I’ve learned have come from mine.