I havent talked about Sprout’s behavior in a while

Here’s the annoying thing about parenting:  I keep having to do it.

Take this morning for instance.  Sprout was whining enough to make my ears bleed because we woke up later than usual and he had to eat his breakfast at school instead of home.  This happens once in a while. No big deal.  Except today when it was and man was he whining his head off about it.  And I don’t mean whining about cereal because he misses his mom.  Or whining about cereal because it triggered the deep demons of crazy and pain and trauma from his youth.  Nope, none of that.  Just whining about cereal because sometimes five-year old boys choose to be pains in the…well, you know.

So that’s the annoying thing.  We definitely addressed whining when he was 3 years old.  WHY IS HE DOING IT AGAIN?!

Ugh.

Its times like this when I have to take a step back and remind myself that just because we worked so hard on it – and he was so much better for so long – doesn’t mean the job is done.  We (mostly) addressed the trauma.  Created a wonderfully healthy attachment.  Chased the crazy far, far away.  And yet there are weeks days when he will still choose to be a pain in the…knee. 

I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember that this morning when I was all:

“uncross.those.arms.right.now.and.stop.whining.about.cereal.

for.goodness.sake.you.are.five.years.old.”

But then, after I had managed to drop him off to school without killing him, I thought about it on my drive into work.  I thought about the early days when his choice of defiance wasn’t crossing his arms and complaining about where he was eating his breakfast and was something a little more like, “I HATE YOU!!! FAT B!*$&!! I’M CALLING MY SOCIAL WORKER AND GETTING NEW PARENTS!!!” 

Oh those were the days. 

And yet, I was so much more calm through those episodes than I was today.  Pshh, a little whining and arm crossing would have been a banner day a couple years ago.

So that’s what I have to get back to…parenting.  In the calm and peaceful way I know works so well.

Tomorrow:

he will not make me mad. he will not make me mad. he will not make me mad.  he will not make me mad.

Ahhh, I feel better already.

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7 Comments to “I havent talked about Sprout’s behavior in a while”

  1. ah…a typical 5y old boy. 🙂

  2. I am sorry you have to hear the whining again but do celebrate the fact that it’s TYPICAL whining! You have all come so far and I am so amazed at how you have helped him heal. Can I send LMC your way? 🙂

  3. You make me feel much better about wanting to be a foster parent. If you can handle the big things and yet still struggle with whining, maybe I can handle the big things even though sometimes the little things like whining make me crazy. Thank you so much for this honest post! My daughter is 4 1/2 and I too often think, didn’t we already go through this phase? Why is this attitude back again. While I hope there is less whining for you tomorrow, I am glad to hear I’m not the only one that has to remind myself to be calm and not let the little things get to me. This too shall pass. 🙂

  4. Its a testiment to how far you’ve all come that something so normal can annoy the piss out of ya!! 🙂 Pretty wonderful, right? Lol. We all have those moments, just regroup and start anew the next day.

  5. Isn’t it wonderful that Sprout’s only real worry now is cereal v breakfast at school?

  6. It’s fabulous that Sprout’s main issues these days are something as “normal” and age-appropriate as whining. But it’s also so normal for that kind of behavior to be incredibly annoying to his parents! Hang in there–hope it gets better soon. Or that you find some great ear-plugs.

  7. I love this! I was recently telling Leo that parenting the trauma feels, somehow, so much easier. Perhaps after parenting the trauma, simple things like whining and defiance seem below them.

    It seems so silly, but it’s the little age appropriate stuff that makes me want to the climb the walls most days. I often compare it to the difference between a paper cut and a broken arm.

    Those paper cuts really hurt like a… you know, right?

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