I feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself…

We are voluntarily non-renewing our foster license.  Come October, we will no longer be foster parents.

It’s the right decision.  We have 3 beautiful young children to focus on raising. But, ouch.  I’m heartbroken.

Truth be told, it wasn’t the choice I wanted to make.  I feel as though I’m missing a child, and a piece of my happiness is missing along with him.   But A is concerned that, at least right now, adding another child would compromise her happiness.  Incompatible happiness.

I didn’t realize how large a part of my identity being a foster parent was, until I signed it away.

(theoretically speaking…i haven’t actually brought myself to signing the paper, yet).

 

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3 Comments to “I feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself…”

  1. I know that pain, missing someone who isn’t there. I am so sorry it has come to this. I know you didn’t want this. Lots of hugs to you.

  2. Accepting this says a lot about how you prioritize your marriage, which is something I think you can be very proud of. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have a piece of your happiness so diametrically opposed to the happiness of your spouse.

  3. I agree with Kershnic. I think you are doing the best thing you can do for your marriage and family right now, though I’m sorry it hurts so much. Hopefully in a few years you will be in a place to pursue fostering again.

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