Survivors Guilt

The news of Blossom’s reunification was difficult for a number of reasons.  Sad for the foster family, worried for Blossom and bio mom, anticipating hurt and confusion for Sprout, fear about loosing touch with Blossom, and then there was something else.  Something deep and powerful that I couldn’t quite put my finger on for a while.

Well, I know what it is now.  Survivor’s guilt.  Such a strange feeling…tucking my children into bed every night.  MY children.  The ones I get to keep forever and ever.  My happy ending come true.

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But why? Why us?

Right time, right circumstances.

It so easily could have been us with the broken hearts and home. Instead, it was someone else this time and I can’t help but think of their pain when I look into the faces of my joy.

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5 Comments to “Survivors Guilt”

  1. EVERY child we are meant to have (and who is meant to have us) finds their way.

    Thinking of every broken heart involved and hoping for the best.

  2. So many complex emotions. I don’t think you should feel guilty but I’ve never been in this situation. Sending you good vibes and strength.

  3. ❤ Its so complicated, this world of ours. But your happiness is not an affront to Blossom's former family's pain. You were meant to have your beautiful babies, and should feel no guilt in that. It seems BM was meant to have Blossom. Hugs sweetie.

    (This is a gorgeous picture.)

  4. Ps. Just wanted to be clear that I am not at all poo-pooing your emotions. I know that I would feel much the same way in your shoes. xoxo

  5. How bittersweet how things fall out, and how complex emotions are. I think survivor’s guilt is an understandable emotion. You opened your arms and home and heart to the whims of foster care and paid the emotional price they handed out. What more can you do? I hope something sweet is out there for Blossom’s former foster family and stability and happiness follows Blossom and the kids’ bio mom. You always said that these kids – Blossom included now I think – deserved to be wanted from all sides, and they are.

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