Archive for May 2nd, 2013

May 2, 2013

The Thing No One Tells You About Before Having Children – XP

Original here.

There is a serious downside to having kids that NO ONE talks about.

No, I don’t mean the $$ that magically grows wings and flies out of your pocket, or the new-found need to drink…daily.  Or even the lack of, ahem.

What I am talking about is the silent yet suffocating and ever-multiplying BEAST that lurks in every corner of your home.

What I am talking about is the f-ing laundry!


The more children you have, the worse the problem gets.  I was entirely unprepared for how unruly the beast would get when we said ok our third child.

If you are currently considering adding a 3rd…DON’T DO IT.

Laundry has taken over our lives.

The worst part is the way it steals my joy (the way the dryer steals my socks).  Take for example the beautiful weekend we recently enjoyed.  And by ‘we’ I don’t mean me…

Because while my family was enjoying the sunshine,

Being adorable. Planting a garden.

I was here.

In hell.

You say ‘laundry basket’, I say ‘laundry bastard’

When the kids came in from playing outside, I decided it was about time they got in on tackling the beast.  Afterall, it is THEIR FAULT I’m drowning.  So I handed them each a bastard basket of folded laundry and asked them to put it away.

They stared at me blankly.  “What do you mean mom? Isn’t it away?”


These guys don’t get much use these days.

So I finally make it to the end of my day.  The day spent slaying the beast with washing, drying, folding and putting away.  I want nothing more than to crawl into bed.

I open the door of my room only to find…


I’m haunted by the smell of dryer sheets.

Consider yourself warned.