Confession: My son has worn his Halloween costume to the grocery store (I’m not talking during the month of October). Also, my daughter regularly wears her shoes on the wrong feet. And sometimes, the baby goes out of the house with her hair un-brushed (quite a sight, I promise you) because it wasn’t worth the fight.
But here’s something else you should know: Picking my battles doesn’t mean my kids are spoiled or that I’m a pushover. It doesn’t mean we don’t have rules or boundaries in our house and it certainly doesn’t mean my children aren’t held to appropriate standards.
Then what does it mean?
- It means I’m teaching my children, though modeling, to be flexible and to be comfortable giving up control. Sometimes.
- To prioritize and know how to figure out what is worth fighting for, and what simply isn’t.
- That they are the boss of their own bodies and I trust them with that power.
- That their opinions, feelings, and ideas count and are worth sharing.
- That there is room for other people’s thoughts among your own and you can negotiation between those respectfully.
So, the next time you see a mom with a kid wearing his pajamas at Target, don’t think that she’s given up. Instead, think of how much she is teaching her child. The world will teach him that he probably shouldn’t wear his pjs to the grocery…that mom has plenty of other more important things to focus on.