Awkward

Last night, for the first time, we agreed to transport the kids for their visit with mom.  It’s not something that’s typically done in my area for safety/privacy reasons, but the agency van was in the shop and none of the other vehicles could accommodate 3 kids in car seats.

While it was nice to see mom again and have Sprout see us interacting, it was also kind of heartbreaking too.

First there was drop off…Sprout solemnly walked into the room with barely a hello to his mother while the girls clung to A and cried.

Then at pick up,  as soon as they saw us through the glass doors, big smiles and happy shrieks of “Mama! Mama!” while they ran over to us for kisses and hugs.

Ouch.  A terribly awkward situation.

She handled it well and cheerfully handed the baby over when she started to fuss for us, but that had to hurt.

On the up side, when we were leaving, A told Rosebud to tell mom  “I love you Mommy” and she did in such a cheerful voice it made us all smile.  She’s not yet at the age to say “I love you” without prompting, so I think that may have been the first time mom heard her (or any of the kids?) say it.

I love A for doing that and hope we were able to leave her with a little comfort to ease the hurt.

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7 Responses to “Awkward”

  1. I remember a visit with LMC’s BF, about 6 months into her placement. She called me mommy and I was sure he would freak. I tried to cover it up by saying she calls everyone Mommy but he shocked me by saying, “No, you are her Mommy now”. I will always treasure that moment, that in his own way he was okay with me mothering his daughter.

    It’s so nice that she was able to hear an I love you. I am sure she will hold that moment close to her heart.

  2. You two are amazing just amazing.

  3. I’m sure it was awkward, but what a testimony it is to how much you share your love with those sweet babies.

  4. How thankful that the van broke down AFTER your scheduled meeting, so you two had already officially met. But, I am just starting to understand the true awkwardness.

    And side note: Agency vans!?! Why are there no back-ups? Why is “how to install & use a carseat” not part of agency training!!???!!! Ugh.

    So so sweet of A. So beautiful to see you fall more in love with your wife through all of this.

  5. Meeting with bio families is always awkward. I’ve met most of mine. Of course, our state is working towards a model of shared parenting, so this kind of interaction is expected regularly. And we have no money for transports, so I shuttle to all visitations and sometimes supervise. In the end I do think it can be good for everyone.

    Sounds like you guys are doing it just right. I pray for the kids sake they can find healing in the way you love their mother well. I think that’s such an important thing.

  6. Oh that would be hard- I worked for DCFS before I had kids- and now being a mom just the thoughts of everything that happened and picturing those kids and thinking of my own… wow. So glad there are great foster parents like you

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