Trials and Tribulations

The two older children came into care 20 months, 1 week and a few days ago.  Coming up quick on 2 years, huh?

And where do we stand?  Essentially the same place we did 20 months, 1 week and a few days ago.

TPR has not been filed.  Goal has not been changed.  Why? I don’t know. 

Frankly, I’m taking a big mental health break from it all.  I can’t live obsessing about the status of the case.  I don’t even want any details aside from: are they staying or are they going?  And no one knows the answer to that – still.  I can’t decide if this mental change is burn out or protecting myself from burn out.  It’s a fine line.

What I do know is that there is a trial involving the baby coming up.  It must be something big because the kids’ attorney called me.  For the first time ever.  (yes, you read that right)  Though I still don’t know what it’s about or what he needs since every time I call back, it’s just voicemail.  Typical.

What I do know is that in my professional life we avoid trials like the plague.  Because you can lose a trial.  

OMG. You can lose a trial.

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11 Responses to “Trials and Tribulations”

  1. hugs I can not even imagine the stress. When E was in the nicu and nothing was certain I just lived in the moment it is the only thing that got me through. I didn’t think beyond the moment we were in tomorrow was far to unknown and scary. Know that I am walking with you and am here for what ever I can do.

  2. You do whatever you need to do to protect your heart. And know we are all by your side, as best we can be, with whatever you need.

    When you finally speak to that attorney… ask if a slew of witnesses from around the country marching up to take the stand would help. 😉

  3. The mental check-out is imperative. We just stopped looking for details about LMC’s case and just said tell us if she is staying or going. We distanced ourselves from the legal side of things and it helped, a little.

    I’m sorry TPR hasn’t been filed. Can you ask your SW why? It’s so hard when you are kept so in the dark. I hope you get some answers about the hearing involving the baby soon. Not knowing is worse than anything.

    I am sending you lots of love, hugs and strength. I hope you get only wonderful news from here on out.

  4. The mental check-out is imperative. We just stopped looking for details about LMC’s case and just said tell us if she is staying or going. We distanced ourselves from the legal side of things and it helped, a little.

    I’m sorry TPR hasn’t been filed. Can you ask your SW why? It’s so hard when you are kept so in the dark. I hope you get some answers about the hearing involving the baby soon. Not knowing is worse than anything.

    I am sending you lots of love, hugs and strength. I hope you get only wonderful news from here on out.

  5. The mental check-out is imperative. We just stopped looking for details about LMC’s case and just said tell us if she is staying or going. We distanced ourselves from the legal side of things and it helped, a little.

    I’m sorry TPR hasn’t been filed. Can you ask your SW why? It’s so hard when you are kept so in the dark. I hope you get some answers about the hearing involving the baby soon. Not knowing is worse than anything.

    I am sending you lots of love, hugs and strength. I hope you get only wonderful news from here on out.

  6. That sounds so incredibly stressful. I think that taking a mental break from it is very healthy.

    I’m sure the idea of a trial is terrifying, but I also know that in child welfare a lot of time procedure has to be followed even when everyone involved knows what the judge is going to do. I hope that is the case for little miss Daisy, and that the obvious answer is to stay with you.

  7. Prayers. [[hugs]] trials are nerve wracking. Always. Even if you think you know the outcome. I think at K’s last one, the termination one, I shook and sweated for the entire eight hours. And every trial before that was exactly the same.

    Know that you have friends who’ve been there. And who are praying for you.

    Oh… and about the mental break, check out all you need. Heck, I fled to a secluded, rural farm for three days!!! You preserve and persevere however you can.

  8. Twenty months and the kids’ attorney just called you for the first time ever?
    The entire process is so frustrating.
    Prayers and good thoughts for your family.

  9. I hope it is not too intrusive to post but I just want to say that I am a social worker with the state foster care system in another state that likes reading foster/adoptive parent blogs and it DOES NOT HAVE TO BE the way it is for you….I am not only permitted but I am OBLIGATED to share with the foster parents “all information about the case which is pertanent to the care of the child.” I keep my foster parents completely informed because they are the ones that will need to work with the children on a day-to-day basis to help prepare them for any changes that may occur! Oh, and our foster parents can apply for “party status” once they have had the kids for 12 months and therefore automatically be IN THE COURTROOM for all proceedings…what is WRONG with your state, so mad on your behalf

  10. So crazy : ( I wish it were different, and I wish you had answers! Praying for all of you.

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