A Band-aid

How do you heal the cracks of a child caught in a world so much bigger than he is?  A child who doesn’t feel secure?  A child who doesn’t know what will be home next year?

I haven’t found the answer to those questions yet – except, perhaps, giving him the permanency he craves, which is not at my discretion.  But this time I found a pretty darn good band-aid.

First, get the heck out of dodge.  Sand, boats, fresh air, sun shine, kisses, hugs and glorious unrushed time.  Kids just being kids.  The smiles came easy and the sparkle I had missed so much came back to his eyes.

Second, put it in a book.  Sprout has a LifeBook that he looks at on occasion, but it wasn’t cutting it lately.  It just wasn’t telling the full story with the details most important to him.  So, we made a new one (y’all know my obsession with shu.tterfly).  More children’s book style.  Its called “How Did I Get Here?  A Sprout story.”  And it tells as much of the story as we were able to piece together.  There are pictures of mom with healing, bold statements like “My mommy is special because she made me in her tummy.  She loves me.”  Then it tells the story in simple matter-of-fact child language of why he is no longer living where he did before.  There are pictures of his first foster family and special memories of his time there.  And there are pictures of his first day with us with the words he added – “It felt new and scary at first, but now it feels like my home.”

I knew he would like it, but I didn’t know how much he would love it.  He reads it every day with equal parts excitement and calm.  Finally his story makes sense to him.

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9 Responses to “A Band-aid”

  1. What an awesome and beautiful idea! I’ve been trying to get photos of MeMa’s birth family for years. I’m beginning to think the empty promises from birth mom will never come to fruition.

  2. Tearing up at my desk thinking of Sprout going through his book over and over again. What a precious gift you have given him that he will treasure always.

  3. What a fantastic idea! You continue to amaze me with your parenting ideas. Keep it up!

  4. What a wonderful idea. And it must be extra-special to him to have it look like a real story book as opposed to a photo album (gosh, I love photo books). Such a wonderful gift for him!

  5. I love this so much! Seriously, it does seem like we share a brain sometimes. I made a similar book for Simeon about his first year with us. It is my intention to create a new book every year. I also hope that as he ages, we can incorporate more of his feelings and thoughts.

  6. I have goosebumps from loving this so much. I actually think down the road, this is a great idea for my step daughter, who is also struggling with the unsure feelings of her future.

  7. You never fail to amaze me with your brillant parenting.

  8. I’m late getting caught up but OMG this made me cry! How wonderful! And a huge DITTO on the “brilliant parenting” comment above– I am in awe.

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