I Will Mother Others

Little miss Rosebud and I spent the past couple days in the local children’s hospital.  She is now officially adenoid-free and breathing easier.

Pictured above watching more TV than she will ever be allowed to watch again in her life.  Can you tell she was watching Super Grover?  Oh yes, she insisted on having her very own “supa [c]ape! supa ape!” 

I feel a bit bad about the TV, but children’s hospital rooms are shockingly not toddler-friendly.  There are tempting buttons to push and cords to pull everywhere.  I’m impressed that she only yanked out her IV once.  And by impressed, I mean relieved – ’cause that one time was pretty messy.  and made mama light-headed.

Rosebud’s next door neighbor was a teeny tiny dark brown smidge of a baby boy.  I convinced her to take as many walks as I could so we could peek in on him.  He always looked so small in that big room by himself.  I overheard the nurses call him a ‘DCF baby’.  Explains the aloneness.  

The little sounds of grunts and fussies started to get to me so I asked the nurse if I might be allowed to hold him or sit with him.  She said no – something about crazy lady, background checks and protocols.  Whatever.  I just couldn’t stop wondering who was going to rock him to sleep at night.

So RB and I beat the system and stood in his doorway and sang to him.  After our fourth time through Twinkle Twinkle, my heart melted to watch his eyes close and he fell asleep.  In case I had missed it, RB said, “shhh, nigh nigh.”  Then she blew him a kiss as we headed on our way.

Two years ago, almost to the day, we started out on our journey to conceive a baby and begin building our family.  Reading that post makes me cringe now.  It was light years ago…who was that person? So naive.  She had no idea what was in store.  

Baby boy J reminded me of how far I’ve come and why I’ve been brought along this path.  He reminded me that I could say good-bye to what I once dreamed of and be at peace.  He reminded me that getting rid of the meds in my fridge doesn’t mean I won’t mother others. 

Two years ago I had such a narrow view of what my family could be.  But now I know.  There is a world of children out there who need mothering and I’m blessed to be a part of it.

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8 Responses to “I Will Mother Others”

  1. What a sweet story. You are such a great mom. Thanks for some great inspiration.

  2. I am so happy Rosebud’s surgery went well!

    I am also thrilled that you beat the system and helped that little boy rest peacefully. How sad that, even with all your background checks, you weren’t allowed to hold or sit with him.

    Knowing you will mother others must be such a peaceful feeling, knowing your journey isn’t anywhere near over…I wish I could be as sure as you.

    Lucky others 🙂

  3. How sweet. And sad. I was thinking the same as wishing was. “Do you know how many background checks I’ve been through?”

    Rosebud’s “shh, nigh nigh” reminds me of Sprout telling her “night night” through the baby monitor. So much love in those 2– wonder where they learned it from? 😉 There’s a lot of wonderful nurturing going on over there.

  4. Oh RB! I remember Simeon having his tonsils/adenoids out. Since then though, he’s slept better, his speech improved and he hasn’t been sick as often.

    This hurts my heart so much. Thank you for singing sweet lullabies to that baby boy. I pray there are warm arms to hold him very soon.

    Blessings.

  5. Wiping tears away at my desk…wow. What a bittersweet moment. Hugs to you my dear, you are such an awesome mama to your kids.

  6. and I feel blessed to know you.

  7. Just found this post and it brought tears to my eyes (for all kinds of reasons). But on a personal level, thank you for those last 3 paragraphs. We decided to stop TTCing (and start filling out adoption paperwork) just over 6 months ago. And sometimes it’s still painful to let go of that first dream. Thanks for sharing the beauty that awaits on this new path.

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