Archive for May 20th, 2011

May 20, 2011

I Will Mother Others

Little miss Rosebud and I spent the past couple days in the local children’s hospital.  She is now officially adenoid-free and breathing easier.

Pictured above watching more TV than she will ever be allowed to watch again in her life.  Can you tell she was watching Super Grover?  Oh yes, she insisted on having her very own “supa [c]ape! supa ape!” 

I feel a bit bad about the TV, but children’s hospital rooms are shockingly not toddler-friendly.  There are tempting buttons to push and cords to pull everywhere.  I’m impressed that she only yanked out her IV once.  And by impressed, I mean relieved – ’cause that one time was pretty messy.  and made mama light-headed.

Rosebud’s next door neighbor was a teeny tiny dark brown smidge of a baby boy.  I convinced her to take as many walks as I could so we could peek in on him.  He always looked so small in that big room by himself.  I overheard the nurses call him a ‘DCF baby’.  Explains the aloneness.  

The little sounds of grunts and fussies started to get to me so I asked the nurse if I might be allowed to hold him or sit with him.  She said no – something about crazy lady, background checks and protocols.  Whatever.  I just couldn’t stop wondering who was going to rock him to sleep at night.

So RB and I beat the system and stood in his doorway and sang to him.  After our fourth time through Twinkle Twinkle, my heart melted to watch his eyes close and he fell asleep.  In case I had missed it, RB said, “shhh, nigh nigh.”  Then she blew him a kiss as we headed on our way.

Two years ago, almost to the day, we started out on our journey to conceive a baby and begin building our family.  Reading that post makes me cringe now.  It was light years ago…who was that person? So naive.  She had no idea what was in store.  

Baby boy J reminded me of how far I’ve come and why I’ve been brought along this path.  He reminded me that I could say good-bye to what I once dreamed of and be at peace.  He reminded me that getting rid of the meds in my fridge doesn’t mean I won’t mother others. 

Two years ago I had such a narrow view of what my family could be.  But now I know.  There is a world of children out there who need mothering and I’m blessed to be a part of it.