A Breath of Fresh Air

Yesterday we had another meeting with the new social worker.  She seems to be a keeper.  Easy to talk to and easy to trust. 

She told us some interesting things including the fact that the previous social worker doesn’t think mom is aware that we are a same-sex couple.  That he had never actually told her (over the course of a year.and.a.half) and that during visits Sprout mostly talks about me so mom might not have made the connection otherwise.  Uh, WTF? There are lots of things I could say about that, but what it boils down to is a bad situation.  Disrespectful to mom and disrespectful to us. 

But I don’t want to focus on the negative because our meeting was quite nice.  We spent most of the time talking about topics such as open vs. closed adoption and negotiating visitation.  How her supervisors are pushing her to close this case quickly as zero progress has been made on the plan.  And did I mention adoption?! 

*Yes, yes, insert all standard disclaimers here (still a long ways away, bio fathers, bio family, ect)*

But the woman said the ‘A’ word.  I swear it was at least 5 times.


14 Responses to “A Breath of Fresh Air”

  1. Could that affect the placement? What if bio mom flips that her new parents are two women? Does she have any say in the final placement? Forgive me if you’ve covered this in previous posts, I’m a new reader!

  2. I am hanging onto that A word 🙂 Glad you like the new SW. Hope you all are well and enjoying spring!

  3. CJ – No, I don’t think it could effect anything at this point, except perhaps making her try harder to get them back or rustle up some family or something along those lines. When I mentioned my concern to the SW yesterday her response was, “Frankly, I don’t care if she has an issue with it.” Though it could certainly make things uncomfortable for us if open adoption is where this is heading. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Thanks for reading/commenting – glad to have ya!

  4. This is the most agonizing part. For us it lasted six months. Six months of the A word and a whole lotta, “but this could go either way…”

    Praying it moves quickly. Praying you continue to be blessed with open and understanding CPS staff.

    BTW. I think you make a fantastic point about non disclosure being disrespectful to both parties.

  5. YAY! I’m happy to hear this even, if it is still a long road ahead, I hope your family gets the peace you deserve.

  6. I like that A word. 🙂

  7. What great news! A new SW and some new hope!

  8. I LOVE that the A word was used so freely!

    She may know that you are a SS couple and not care. They do not have to disclose anything about foster parents to bio parents here, not even names. The only reason ours know about us is because we agreed to meet them early on.

    I can’t help but think about our case, when I was worried about getting a new SW, it turned out to be the best thing for our case. Everything changed for the better and we have two forever daughters to show for it. I hope history repeats itself for your family.

    Praying, hoping, crossing all crossables for you!

  9. SQUEE! So exciting! It’s great that you live in a state where legally your relationship wouldn’t hurt you. But I agree it set you and your kids up for a potentially complicated situation. So is this worker going to tell her?

  10. Woohoo for the A word. Boo for the disrespectful former SW, I hope the current one handles things better.

  11. oh that is exciting!

  12. More squee!!

    And lots of crossing crossables!!!

    Give me an A!


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