How Sad

A few days ago I spoke with the kids’ social worker.  I got some updates – some happy surprises and some scary surprises.  I’m going to wait for the dust to settle and decisions to get into writing before I share it widely, but things may be taking a very different turn for these children.  Or they might stay exactly the same.  We shall see.  In the mean time, I’ll just keep holding onto my thread.

On another note, the purpose of my call was to inform the SW that Rosebud’s eczema is flaring up again and that we had taken her into the pediatrician for a prescription treatment.  He kind of laughed off my update saying he’s never worried about the care the children receive in our home because we take better care of the kids than any of the other foster parents in his caseload.

Now I’ll take a compliment any time it’s lobbed my way, especially when it comes from someone who has likely felt I am the most annoying person on the planet, but I find that statement really very sad.

Sure, A and I care for the kids.  Get them the treatment they need to heal their bodies and their hearts.  We are advocates for their health.  Bring them for regular check ups.  But we aren’t doing anything different from what our friends are doing with their children.   Surely this must be what all foster parents do, right?

Well, no.  Which is why, despite needing a break badly, we probably won’t ever use any of the 14 days of respite care offered to us each year.

Of course there are great homes out there.  Ones that far exceed ours.  But the reminder is always there that some are just – not.

6 Responses to “How Sad”

  1. I can attest first hand that there are some HORRIBLE foster parents. It is disheartening and sad – and I’ve made my fair share of reports to CPS workers about foster parents who just aren’t doing their jobs are parents. You guys are doing amazing things!

  2. It is very sad. I don’t blame you for not wanting to take the respite care, as we probably couldn’t either. Are you able to leave the kids with your parents or another adult like you would if they were your own? Or would those people have to get licensed, too? What about for a few hours (babysitting)? Something tells me that not only are you one of the best foster parents the caseworker has seen, but one of the best parents.

  3. We have lucked out in participating in a super foster/adoption support group that meets monthly. We have networked with other folks who whose paretning style we are comfortable with and with whom we have been able to exchange childcare….The hoops you need to jump throuh to use formal Respite sometimes can be more work than it is worth.

  4. Incredible, isn’t it?

    I can’t wait to hear what’s in store for you and the kidd-o’s. In the meantime, know that I’m praying.


  5. I never used respite, either, but I did respite for other kids and they never wanted to leave.

    I hope that the news was good- thinking of you all!


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