Archive for September 20th, 2010

September 20, 2010

Today I’m feeling very tenderly balanced on the edge. 

We received a blow this weekend.  It was that illusive “thing” that I held in my mind during our TTC journey as my breaking point.  I think other IFers will know what I’m referring to…the whole, “As long as we get pregnant before____ (fill in name of person, date, ect).”   Well that point has been reached for us and I’m humbled/ashamed/sorry to admit that it has been every bit as difficult as I imagined it to be. 

My happy face is tired.

I’ve been crying a lot, and praying a lot.  And the clomid is certainly not helping.  It’s difficult to decipher exactly how much is actual downward spiral and how much is chemically-induced “give it a few days and it’ll be gone” spiral.

 I’ll get through this, and there will be brighter days, but today I need to focus on just hanging on.