Still Not all Butterflies and Rainbows

One of the things I struggle with in my blogging is depicting a realistic picture of life while also being respectful to Sprout.  I will never share the darkest days or the worst tantrums – those will remain within the 4 safe walls of our house – because its important to us that we offer Sprout a respectful, private place to work out his demons.  But it also doesn’t feel right to only tell you about the successes.  I’ve always been a person who will tell it like it is and ‘Leave it to Beaver’ is not how it is.

So you guys know that Sprout came to us with a lengthy list of undesirable behaviors.  They ranged from mild things like whining and learned helplessness to well, worse.  We’ve seen huge improvements in all but one.  Unfortunately this one has actually increased in severity and frequency.  And I know why…

We refer to this annoying little habit as Sprout’s “angry accidents”.  Of course, they aren’t accidents at all – the child is fully potty trained.  What they are is an attempt to make us feel as angry as he’s feeling.  Also, its disgusting.  This is one of those things I would read about on fostering message boards before we had kids and think “Holy crap! That’s crazy! I’d never be able to deal with something like that!.”

::sigh:: well, here we are.  And, because I love him, it’s actually not *that* bad. 

Where I went wrong in the handling of it, though, is letting him see that it made me angry.  I’ve managed to keep an air of calm while being screamed at, hit, kicked, and my property destroyed, but for whatever reason, the angry peeing gets me from 0 to 60 faster than anything.  And my reaction is the most motivating thing in the world for a child like Sprout.  It doesn’t matter that he has to clean up his mess, lose privileges, or go to bed without books – the peeing got him what he wanted.   Damn it.

So A and I have devised a plan.  If it happens again (please oh please oh please be done with it already who am I kidding? of course it’ll happen again), I will simply leave and she will handle it.  It doesn’t give her the same jaw clenching, blood boiling reaction as I experience and it’ll throw his game off entirely. Ahh, it feels good to have a plan.  And I think it’ll work well…

Until he figures us out and starts to do it when I’m the only parent around.

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One Comment to “Still Not all Butterflies and Rainbows”

  1. Oh, my goodness. It’s like we were seperated at birth. This is my story. This is Simeon’s story. And this is the same arrangement Leo and I have made. For the same exact reason. Uncanny!

    Anyway, Simeon doesn’t pee. He poops. Which is more localized, but still absolutely disgusting. And he can’t really clean himself. Blech!

    Blogging is a relief, but it’s also a limited picture. This can be a frustrating paradox. I’m glad we have others out there who know there’s often so much more to the story than we get to read.

    Hope your new strategy works!

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