Confident Mommy Shouldn’t be an Oxymoron

I’m self-conscious about a lot of things.  My weight, my looks, my 401k, my complete inability to make small-talk or a good cup of coffee.  But one thing I’m not at all self-conscious about it my ability to be a good mom.  I’m good at this gig.

And I’m willing to bet that unless you beat your kid or feed them dirt, you are too.

But why don’t all the good moms know how good they are?  One of my friends on fb recently made a comment along the lines of “Does any mother ever feel good enough?!”  What I wanted to reply was: “Yes, and you should too”, but I was intimidated by the chorus of “Of course not”s and “No mother ever feels good enough for her kids”

What’s with the epidemic self-doubt in mom world? I know that self-consciousness is nothing new to women in our society, but the moms in my circle seem to have caught it particularly bad.  It’s so sad to me the number of women in my life who spend more time questioning themselves than they do admiring their happy and healthy children (success!).

Of course there are days when I screw up, I don’t know what to say or do, I lose every shred of patience and poise, but I know that all of that is still encompassed within the definition of a good parent.  Even when I’m tested to my very limits, I know that I’m good enough.   And you should too.

Enclosed in this post is a big thank you to Sprout and Rosebud without whom I wouldn’t have this newfound confidence.  It’s so nice to be able to pack away the insecurities for a bit.

Thoughts on this? How are the moms in your world?

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4 Comments to “Confident Mommy Shouldn’t be an Oxymoron”

  1. Thank you for this post…I am a mom of 2 who gets consumed with the self doubt sometimes. I beat myself up for not having the time, energy, or creativity I “should” but they are happy and healthy and thats all that matters. Its tied to the way I always compare myself to other moms…another unhealthy habit.

  2. good for you!
    I think our society EXPECTS so much self-doubt & hatred from women. It is so sad. We are strong and good and accomplished, and like you said, mostly really good moms! Embrace it!

  3. I think there’s always a good side and a side that could be better in each of us. As long as we’re doing our best as mothers, and trying to fix the faults we see in ourselves, we’re doing a good job. No one is perfect.

  4. This is a great post and one I need to bookmark to come back to. Its easy to look at any little imperfect action by your child and reflect it back on yourself, so easy to look at your own imperfections and turn them into huge black marks on your record. But you are right, baring the mistakes that come from being human, I am a good mother! And I need to tell myself that more! My daughter is a healthy, happy, thriving 6 month old… and she is that way because I’m good at this. 🙂 We’ll save the self doubt for something else. Lol.

    Thank you.

    My new motto:
    My child is healthy, loved, and content. I am a good mother.

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