I just signed the adoption disclosure.
This is a document that is presented to pre-adoptive parents and is supposed to disclose all the case details regarding the children to the people who are signing up to take them in for life. It includes details about history, reasons for placement, biological family, ect.
My heart raced a little when I opened the email attachment containing the document. One part nervous and one part eager to learn more about my children.
Well, as it turns out, there was nothing in there I didn’t know. And trust me, I don’t know a lot. But they should, right? I mean, I was hoping to get some little details…you know, just small things, such as…
Where was Sprout and what happened to him the first 3.5 years of his life?!
Looks like I might not ever know.
January 27, 2012 at 1:23 pm
You might not never know the past. but you can plan the future. And what a great future Sprout, Rosebud & Daisy will have.
January 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Ugh, what a bummer! But as Katie said, you get to determine the rest of the story and that is going to be awesome!!!
January 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I remember reading our disclosure, 6 pages full of things we hadn’t known, things that made me hurt for Iz’s mom, but there was also so much that was missing, her first stint in foster care and the names of the foster parents, why help wasn’t sought for the problems she experienced in one of her foster homes, etc. It’s so hard to imagine what life was like for them before your home.
You have provided your kids a wonderful home and although you may not know those little details from the past, you can give them amazing little details to hold onto for the rest of their lives.
January 27, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I don’t know about your state, but we got a huge package of paperwork later that helped us peice together a little more, though there’s more we don’t know than do.
January 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Oh my goodness, that IS sad! I hope you get more details eventually. It breaks my heart to think a little boy’s history would just be lost like that.
January 27, 2012 at 5:19 pm
What he will remember is the love and family you are providing for him.
January 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm
You’re so demanding, E, wanting to know all kinds of minute things.
Quite sad, and I’m sure a little anti-climatic for you as well. I can only hope that with such a stark dearth of information that he was not in care during those years? (Just because I’m more disturbed if the information was lost regarding time in placement.) Maybe bio mom knows some of it, and she will be able to share someday.
In any case, he’s going to have a lot of great memories from 3.5 onwards, and RB and Daisy will have their whole histories thanks to you.
January 28, 2012 at 11:53 am
You and your high standards
I’m with Carrie–hopefully that’s mostly a good thing.
And you’ve already had him 2 years… soon you will have had him more time than not. And made so many more safe, great memories for him
But—sad, sad, sad.