[click to enlarge]
May 25, 2012
You know what’s awesome?
The fact that we are taking the kids on a fun little getaway for the long weekend…
and we didn’t need to get permission from ANYONE to do it!
Have a great weekend!
May 22, 2012
Getting Healthy – Update
Remember a while ago when I was trying to get healthy? Well, the quest still continues.
The summer through the fall went pretty well. But then the winter came and along with it the holidays, and before I knew it, I was right back in a place of feeling hopeless about my weight and just plain bad about myself. Ugh, why??
I was frustrated, fed up, and desperate for something that would finally work.
And that’s about the time when a friend introduced me to Whole30 . And I thought she was crazy. I mean, sure, happy for her and all…she felt good, looked great…but me? No sugar or processed anything for 30 days. Ha! No way. That is so not me.
Except then I gave it a go on a whim and as it turns out…it is me! I completed my 30 days on May 18th, am down 11.8lbs, and feel awesome.
And you know what is the most crazy thing? It wasn’t hard. Seriously! It wasn’t.
It absolutely required planning and preparation, but no more so than any other “diet” I’ve ever been on. All the cravings I expected to have just never came. I felt satisfied every day and wasn’t hungry once.
In the Whole30 materials, one of the first things it says is that if you are committed and stick to the plan for 30 days, it will change your life. I rolled my eyes. Yet another diet promising the answer to my 25+ year struggle with weight…yeah right.
But, actually, it did. Not in any kind of huge and dramatic way but in lots of small important ways. Things like:
- I actually DO have willpower. I’ve been down on myself for so long for having no self-control or no willpower. But clearly, I do. It’s just a matter of having a plan that works and eating the things that keep my body in balance to keep the cravings in check. In fact, I feel so powerful over food now.
- I don’t need sugar. Or bread. Or processed foods. Or pasta. Or, or, or…This way of eating is sustainable. That is still so crazy to me.
- On a related note, limiting my food or having a “restricted” diet doesn’t make me miss out on life AT ALL. I’ve been to parties, out to eat at restaurants, on dates, and have left all those things just as happy and satisfied as I would have if I ate the cake or appetizer or whatever. In fact, I felt better.
- I’m sleeping so well. Lots of people talk about this benefit and it is amazing. Also no heartburn, more energy, and no sore muscles after working out (that shows me how strong my body is and how happy it is with way I’m eating).
- My tastes have completely changed. One of the things I had been really missing is my star.bucks latte. So on day 31 I went out and got one. It was not good. Way too sweet (even the sugar-free) and made me feel like crap for the rest of the day. I have no desire to do that again. Same goes for the sip of previously beloved soda I stole from A this weekend – yuck. And these things are what makes this way of eating sustainable…I truely have no desire to go back to eating what I was before. I have no cravings b/c it just doesn’t sound good to me any more.
- Similarly, my appetite is finally in balance. That is really nice. There are some “junk foods” that still taste good to me – like this weekend when we went to a pizza place. I had some pizza and it tasted good. But it wasn’t the OMG-wonderful-I’ve-been-missing-you-so-much kind of good I might have expected. I had 4 bites and was legitimately satisfied with that.
- Stress is no longer a reason NOT to eat well, but rather a reason TO eat well. This past month has been insane. Of course there is all the typical stuff with being a working mom of 3 young children. Sprout has been struggling a lot with his behavior. Family drama coming out of my ears. I’m trying to close a big deal at work. Unexpected bills. Car trouble. You name it. Its been the kind of stressful that would have previously sent me to the nearest box of donuts. But having Whole30 to fall back on has been so nice – something positive to focus on and something that I know I have control over since so much in life I don’t. Not to mention the mental clarity and feeling good helped immensely in dealing with all the stress.
I could go on and on about the good. Basically: it was really good.
As for what was difficult…not much. Mostly the just the prep. It’s not as easy to grab things on the run and we are often out of the house all day long so my evenings were spent thinking about what I would need to have on hand for the next day and getting it all prepared. Also, the sugar detox in the first few days was hard. I felt like crap and thought, “no way is this a good thing if I’m feeling so bad.” But I’m glad I pushed through because it was absolutely worth it and now I see that it was simply my body getting rid of all the junk I was putting into it.
It’s funny because, as I said above, when I first heard about the plan I thought it was craziness. I’m very much an “everything in moderation” type person and could never imagine myself doing something even remotely this restrictive. On paper, it is so not me. But, I was in a desperate place where I knew I needed a change. I was unhappy and needed to reset myself. So, I figured I’d give this a go. Surely I could at least do it for a week. And then I got to a week and said, “well, it’s not that bad yet – I guess I can do 2 weeks”. Once I had done 2 weeks, I was half way there and didn’t want to waste what I had already done, and then the days just started easily falling into the next.
In fact, I’m mentally planning my next Whole30…afterall, I’ve got an adoption party I need to feel good for!
Questions? I welcome them all. And its okay if you think I’m a little crazy 
May 21, 2012
What Now?
Its been a little over a month since we’ve adopted the children and the question that’s plaguing me is: What now?
It’s a strange shift to go from “foster mom” to just “mom”. A blessed and wonderful shift, for sure, but being a foster parent has become a big part of my identity. And when we handed in that application, we certainly never expected to be done after just a few years.
But are we done?
Not necessarily…
It’s just tough to make plans when we never know whether or when bio sib #8 will join the scene.
Its strange not to know what’s next.
[in case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of an obsessive planner]
We’ve had many talks as a family and I’m sure they will continue as we take things slow and see where life leads us. For now we’ve all agreed that our next chapter will be as respite care providers*. It’s adorable to see Sprout and Rosebud so excited about helping other children. It makes me think that I’m seeing a tiny glimpse of the awesome Simeon in them. I really want my children to know the pride and indescribable fulfillment that comes with fostering; it would be such a wonderful thing to share with them.
*respite care = fancy word for overnight babysitting of other people’s foster kids. In my area its a placement of 2 weeks or less – usually just a weekend.
And now we are back to waiting for the phone to ring!
May 16, 2012
Wordless Wednesday
Sorry its been a little quiet around here. Free time has been dedicated to chipping away at the adoption party projects…like this one…
http://images-community.shutterfly.com/flashapps/slideshow/slideshow-ui.swf
Click here to view this photo book larger
May 7, 2012
This is me.
In continuation of a trend started over at the great blog CT Working Moms in which one blogger shared an open and honest account of her parenting decisions, I share with you some of mine…
This is me:
1. Both my babies started full-time daycare before the age of 2 months old. It was hard, but not as hard as some may think.
2. I’ve never cried dropping my children off to daycare. I’ve also never called to check on them while they are there. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them, just that I’m confident that everything is fine – and if it isn’t, someone will call me.
3. My mother works at the children’s daycare. It’s not as much of a bonus as one would think.
4. We rear-face car seats until 2 despite the fact that my youngest is the size of most 3 year olds and my nearly 6-year-old is still in a regular car seat with no plans to change.
5. I’ve told the kids that they won’t be sitting in the front until they are driving. I’ve also told them no lip-kissing until they are married. But, I might budge on that one…slightly.
6. I haven’t yet decided if I want to be open or honest with my children about my drug/alcohol/sex history.
7. My two toddlers still have milk as part of their bed time routine. Its out of a sippy cup, but they still call it their ‘baba’. It doesn’t bother me.
8. We cloth diaper and use disposable diapers. I made my own baby food and used plenty of jar food. We did a little BLW and a little baby food purees. I buy plenty of whole organic foods, and plenty of cheese-its/goldfish/fill in the blank with some other processed snack. Sometimes I use all natural baby products and sometimes I just use whatever is on hand.
9. As a chubby mom, I wonder if people judge me for having a chubby baby.
10. I never use shopping cart covers and sometimes the baby eats off the table in restaurants. Its better than a thrown and shattered plate. Which I learned the hard way.
11. There aren’t many things I won’t do solo with my 3 children. Kids play places, going out to eat, going to the grocery store? No problem.
12. I don’t give my kids juice but they do have candy on occasion.
13. We use the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ and I can’t stand pet names for either.
14. We are bare-minimalists on babyproofing. No gates on the stairs, no locks on the toilet, no doorknob thingies.
15. I love baby/toddler/kidwearing. Love it, love it, love it. And I don’t fully understand why more parents don’t utilize it.
16. Sometimes I side with my children over my wife. I will agree with whomever is right.
17. I don’t yell at my kids. I’ve never come across a situation in which it would be helpful or productive to do so.
18. I can’t decide where I land on the Great Vaccine Debate. It’s a non-issue for me since I had foster babies and everything was mandated. But still.
19. We start toilet-introducing by a year (even younger for Rosebud). But the diaperless baby thing is still a little much for me.
20. Despite the financial bummer, I’d rather use a paid babysitter than family. One reason is that I don’t feel guilty or like I’ve put someone out, but also, I have more confience that a paid sitter will follow my instructions.
So that’s a glimpse into me. Some agree with my decisions and others may disagree or even judge, but at the end of the day I am left with all that matters…the happy and healthy family I love to pieces.
May 2, 2012
Wordless Wednesday
Adoption Announcement
(a picture of a picture, so the quality is not great)
[and for a PSA: aside from this, I'm still sticking with the kids' nicknames on the blog since we do plan to continue fostering]
April 26, 2012
Memory is Funny
Now that Sprout has been with us 2 1/2 years, his memory of what came before is fading. In many ways, this is a wonderful blessing. He’s starting to forget the bad, the dark, and the scary. For that, I’m so glad.
But then there is the other side of it. The side that combines with big feelings stirred up by the changes-nothing-but-changes-everything adoption.
And it brings him to moments when he says “I want to go live at my old house.”
It’s hard to hear things like that – and probably even harder to share them with you.
Especially since these statements don’t come in the heat of anger or out of a fit of rage. They come around a calm and happy dinner table, or when we are playing outside and find a dandelion to make a wish on.
I’ll be honest, the first time I heard him say that, it stung. Given his perpetual enthusiasm over the adoption and his very vocal demands that he stay with us forever, I was taken off guard. But, I put my bruised pride aside and asked him to tell me more.
And that’s how I came to find out that his memory was playing tricks on him. The good is becoming really good, and the bad a distant memory.
“I got to watch lots of TV and all the movies at my old house.”
“I ate lots of candy.”
“I could go anywhere I wanted. I didn’t need an adult always watching me.”
At first I wanted to remind him…sure all of those things are true – but you watched TV because you had no toys and all that candy left you with a mouth full of rotten teeth and that’s not even the half of it…
But no, I won’t be reminding him. I will tuck that pride in my pocket and tell him that I understand, because I do. I will tell him that its okay to miss his old house – that I’m glad he has special memories of his time there. And I will thank him for sharing his feelings with me.
And then, at night, I will say a silent prayer of thanks for this memory trick. For my sweet angel slowly leaving behind pieces of a burdened past and how wonderful it is that the bad is what’s being dropped first.
Its then that I will be reminded that I don’t need to feel threatened. Missing his old house doesn’t make him love his current one any less. He simply wants both as the years bring him more and more peace with his past. And peace has always been my wish for him.
April 23, 2012
Adoption Day
This post is for my friend SSG - a run down of April 16th, our adoption day
The court hearing wasn’t until 2pm so the morning started pretty typically. Get kids up, dressed, and off to daycare (Sprout, conveniently, was on spring break from school). A went to work for a few hours while I took advantage of a rare break and did some cleaning/laundry/grocery shopping – you know, all the things that take a fraction of the time without children under foot. Then I treated myself to a mani-pedi. It didn’t really help me calm down. The nerves were off the charts (which is why it was a very wise move to send the children to daycare and not feed off of my nervous energy all morning).
Just before lunch I picked up the kids so they could eat and rest at home. Daisy actually fell asleep on the way home and I executed the car-to-crib transfer so beautifully it left me wishing there was such a thing as the mom olympics because I would totally gold medal in that event.
While the kids were resting A came home and we got ourselves ready and bags packed. OMG.ITS.ALMOST.TIME.
Since the probate court in our town is literally 4 doors down, we waited until the last possible moment before getting the kids up and the next 5 minutes were a whirlwind of throwing clothes off, new clothes on, wash faces, lotion, brush hair, shoes on and out the door.
And we arrived at the court beautifully on time (rare for us).
[Big kids thinking: "Isn't it funny when mommies get crazy?". Daisy thinking: "What just happened to me and where is my crib??"]
Then we go inside and wait. And disturb the women who are attempting to do their jobs inches from the tiny “waiting area” with the baby fussing, Rosebud making a mess of the water cooler, and Sprout’s incessant questions (“What are we waiting for? Where is the Judge? Where is Grandma and Papa? What are those ladies doing over there?” omg.child.please.shush).
Speaking of Grandma and Papa, the family members we invited all arrived late and forgot their cameras. Also, a certain someone was goofing around in the waiting room with Rosebud and ended up poking her in the eye with a pair of sunglasses. And she started screaming and crying. Just as the Judge came to great us. Lovely.
Let’s just say that whole annoyance plus my over-the-top nerves did not make for the happy and zen moment I was imagining the adoption to be. Looking back its silly, but at the time I was just plain pissed off.
So I get Rosebud calmed and we go into a board room a/k/a “court”. Judge is super casual and laid back. There are no robes or gavels or anything of the sort. We all just pull up a seat at the table and chat about the weather and oh by the way, these are now your kids forever.
Okay, it wasnt quite that quick, but practically. And I should mention that the Judge did say some very sweet things to the children – telling them that they are very special people to have been given an opportunity that many don’t get and he charged them with the task of being important people in this world. I have a feeling they will rise to that assignment.
He looked at Sprout before signing the decree and asked him very seriously, “Young man, are you ready to be adopted?” and without skipping a beat Sprout responded, “Yes! I’ve been waiting for this a long time!” The room broke into ear-to-ear smiles. And he brought us right back to the joy and importance of the day.
The papers were signed and their new names were read aloud (we changed last names and a couple middles). Its official, family forever!
Then it was time to head to a surprise A and I had in mind for the children. Something that they’ve always asked to do, but we have never had the right occasion. This seemed like the perfect time.
Build-A-Bear!
This was probably the highlight of the day – so glad we did it. The kids had a blast picking everything out and making their forever “bears”. Very fun.
And here are the finish products:
Sprout with Alvin
Rosebud with Peanutbutter
And Daisy with Cuddles
These teddies are very loved. They are 3 new members of our family and go everywhere with us.
See what I mean?
After that adventure we invited family to go out to a little dinner celebration. It was the kids’ choice on what restaurant we went to. So naturally, we ended up at Japanese.
I’m not kidding.
These kids have a thing for hibachi. Or, maybe its just the fire?
Either way, a delicious and enjoyable meal was had by all. We ended the night with a very special cake made by a talented friend.
A sweet ending for this long-awaited day.
April 18, 2012
Wordless Wednesday: Through the Years
The faces that go with all the stories filling this blog for the past 2 1/2 years
http://www.flickr.com/photos/21495843@N04/sets/72157629829726019/show/
Also…
yay!
